Vakiener Week 8- Indecision and Overthinking

    I don't remember if I was always indecisive.  I am sure that when I was younger the speed at which I made decisions was probably much faster than it was now. That being said, as I have gotten older I have found myself struggling to make decisions that shouldn't be hard to make, and I have noticed a lot of other people feeling the same way.

    Sometimes I feel as though my indecision comes from a fear of somehow hurting or making someone sad. I try to run all of the different scenarios through my head for each decision and each possible reaction. Last night I was coming home from work and my parents asked me if I wanted them to make me something when I got home. I really wanted that food, but at the same time, I didn't want to make them get up and get angry and make them mad. I fought and overthought with myself the whole way home, and then I made a sandwich. In the end, I didn't even make a decision but rather I settled with the consequences of my failure to act. And when something as simple as this makes me panic then larger-scale decisions are even more of a mess.

    I'm sure that most of your lives are getting a bit more complicated with jobs, ap exams, and college decisions in the future, and I am the same way. And to be honest I am terrified. I can't decide what I want to eat, or what I want to watch on TV, so deciding where I am going to spend the next 4 years of my life, and then deciding what I am going to do for the rest of my life makes me feel sick. I'm not entirely sure what the best course of action for fixing this is, but I hope I can find it soon before I decide on a college like I did my dinner and just not choose at all.