Obviously life has been pretty redundant for most people due to the pandemic. I really didn't think that doing the same thing everyday would have an effect on me, but that was back in March. I made my way through the summer without being too bothered by it, but in the past few weeks it has been a little overwhelming.
Everyday, I eat the same breakfast, I do my school work, I go for a run, I eat dinner and sometimes watch a movie, but then I go to bed just to do the same thing over again the next day. One day, I started feeling a little anxious out of the blue for what seemed like no reason. I didn't even know it was anxiety at first, it just felt like something was off. A few days later, I felt out of control. I was distracted all the time. I just felt like I had this rock in my chest that wouldn't go away. I started to obsess over ideas about my future that weren't necessarily true, but everything reminded me of these ideas so I couldn't escape. I eventually reached out for help and I had some really long conversations with my mom which made me feel safe and calm.
I am feeling a lot better recently. I realized that not everything has to be figured out. I know I like to isolate my thoughts and feelings and put a label on them so I know exactly what they are, but I couldn't do that this time which made me panic. I like to figure things out, but at my age, I know that life doesn't have to be figured out. Some adults are still figuring things out. I just have to remember to be happy with where I am right now, change up my routine, talk to people, know I'm not alone, and accept that the unknown is part of life even though, at times, it can be confusing and scary.
I completely understand where you are coming from. At the beginning of all of this I think it was going to be fun and I could work on myself, but after the first month I soon realized that everyday became the same. I got stuck. I separated myself from everyone and I felt lost. When school started back up I didn't really know how to handle it, it felt overwhelming. I didn't know how to handle everything at a time. I eventually talked to my mom about it, we ended up going to the doctors and figuring out solutions to help me. I am now confident that I have a better grip on my life and I know that it is important to reach out because no one is really alone. I am glad you found a way to get out of that loop and found ways to make yourself happier and healthier!
ReplyDeleteI definitely got super anxious during quarantine as well because I became obsessed with the thought that I was wasting my days away in such a short life. I too began overthinking the future and got so stressed about knowing the answers for everything. I found myself relating to a lot of other people during this trying time, and I began to understand that no one is alone in this. We are all feeling that sense of being overwhelmed and isolated. It's so great that you were able to understand your feelings and reach out because I know a lot of people would have trouble with that!
ReplyDeleteI think most of us experienced this sometime during the pandemic. I'm pretty used to doing the same things everyday because life is just so busy, and there's not much room for anything else, but with COVID, these "same things" became less eventful and enjoyable. I remember having a lot of anxiety and being panicked at the beginning of the school year because I felt burnt out and school just seemed so overwhelming despite the fact that I had less classes than in previous years. I like how your mom was able to help you through when you were having a hard time, because my mom did the same, and I'm really grateful for her!
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