Anyone who has been around me over the past 10 months is probably so sick of hearing how much I miss the old life and how I wish things stayed the same. I am the type of person who constantly wonders “what if” and “if this didn’t happen then everything would be different”. Well, I did a lot of that type of thinking over quarantine.
From March to June, I never left the house to see anyone. This was really upsetting at first because I saw other people hanging out and enjoying their “2 weeks” of bliss. However, my family lost a few people throughout the process, which made things a lot more personal and I understood how important it was to take things seriously. With this being said, it didn’t make staying in isolation for 4 months any easier. For one thing, my 16th birthday was not quite the sweet sixteen I had always wanted. Instead, it was spent taking a chemistry test online and getting takeout from a restaurant next to a gas station haha. Along with that, I don’t even remember Easter happening. I just spent a lot of days playing wii and staring at a wall.
Over the months, I would continuously replay March 13th in my head because it was my last day of normalcy. I remember hearing that schools in our area were closing, and I was praying during lunch that day for Nazareth to close as well. I was so overwhelmed with school that I needed a break…if only I knew. Square dancing was cancelled during gym that day which really frustrated me because that is my favorite part of the school year. (I was also ignorant and had no clue how dangerous covid was) I later went to eagle block where my friend offered to drive me home, which meant what would’ve been my last day on a school bus ever was taken away. (Of course, I didn’t know that at the time) We ended up getting milkshakes on the way home, and as we were there he got a text saying school was closed for two weeks. I was thrilled. That was the last time I saw a friend, or was in a public place, until June.
I am thankful we are able to go to school, but I really miss having everyone here. I miss seeing my L-Z friends and going to school 5 days a week. I miss the relationships I had with so many friends last year that drifted due to COVID. I miss the annoyance of having to avoid certain people in the hallways and getting to hug my best friends when I pass their locker. I miss being crammed next to one another in the cafeteria and wishing I could skip volleyball fourth block. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, but I am having a tough time understanding this one. I miss my old life. I am not a fan of this new one we’ve been brought into.
I completely agree with you. I think that we used to take what we had for granted and this year has definitely made us more aware of that. It funny how you miss going to school 5 times a day, as I miss seeing all of my friends so much, I have come to the realization that I really depend on this hybrid schedule now. I ask myself sometimes "How did you get up everyday to 6 am and go to school 5 times a week?" To me now it seems surprising how we were all able to do that. I am scared about it is going to be if it all goes back to normal. How do you think it will be?
ReplyDeleteYou're the second person this week whose post dealt with this, and I think it's interesting that both of you mentioned how you were initially very excited about school closing, not knowing exactly how your life was changing in that moment. I remember feeling the same way.
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