Allen Week 5: My Inner Houdini

    I was an interesting child to say the least. We were all unique in our own special way during our childhood and we still are unique today. I was unique because of my cruelty towards my parents in the form of giving them miniature heart attacks any time I walked into the room. I scored major points on the cardiac scale when it came to my mischief. You may think that you were a mischievous baby, and you probably were, but you need to understand, I had my own way of presenting my mischievous side that was second to none (not that that is a good thing). I was not about embarrassing my parents in public (though I was very good at that too), I was about making their world as stressful and scary a place as possible.

    I may have been better than Houdini when it came to masterful escapes. The only difference between me and him is that once I escaped, I wouldn’t bask in the glory of an audience’s applause. Instead, I would do something incredibly stupid (not one singular thing, for I had a plethora of “faceslap” moments in my arsenal). From a very young age, I could easily escape my crib. I would climb out and open my door to be faced with the dreaded baby gate. I had no trouble scaling this baby gate as I had done numerous times before. I actually seemed to like it because I would walk out my door and press myself against the baby gate on the other side of the door frame. Then in a moment of sheer incompetence (or brilliance, depending on who you ask) I would close the door behind me so that I was trapped between my door and my baby gate. I would be completely stuck, unable to turn around and open the door again, and I didn’t have enough room to climb over the baby gate. My parents would come up the stairs shocked that I had escaped my cage only to trap myself in a new one. They would then open my door so that I was free to enter my room again. This however was not my plan, and I would simply reach back and pull the door closed again behind me. My true stupidity was shown from a young age, and I can say that I was truly “unique” (though not necessarily in a good way).

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